Come Big Or Stay Home

Back in my graduate school days my wife and I use to play cards with some other couples in the married student housing complex where we lived. This was in Texas and one of the other couples were from Texas and during one of our card games he used the phrase, “come big or stay home”. Of course this referred to the need for the next player to play a higher valued card or stay home and know that they would lose the hand.

Today we are at a place in our history where we as a people need to “come big and NOT stay home” We need to realize that without our own personal commitment to doing something that offsets the seemingly predestined, ordained, inevitable and other wise assumed to be our future, we will have no one else to blame for what is going to happen but ourselves.

And what is going to happen you may be asking yourself? Well, in the case of those in the boomer generation, just the continued frustration with the march of technology that keeps changing the rules of the game just as you feel like you’re beginning to understanding them. Ok, what else you say? The gap between the rich and the rest of us, the politically connected and the rest of us, the bought and paid for and the rest of us. It is a gap that is quickly becoming a gulf. In America, our Republic will become the property of corporations and special interest where greed fuels the motivations of the rich and powerful. They already, to a large extent, call the shots with regards to our national finances, healthcare, trade, environment, food, education and even defense. 

The thing about it is that the technology that often frustrates us, is also providing us with the means to do that “COME BIG” thing. And just how big is the “Come Big” thing you may be asking yourself? To “Come Big” should be a relative thing to each individual. I saw a story in the news over the Christmas season where an 11-year-old girl decided that the police and fire personal who are serving on Christmas should not miss  a Christmas dinner decided to throw a dinner for them herself. She engaged her parents and other with her idea and gave life to a selfless gift to those who serve and protect us all. An 11 year old. This past summer I saw an article on the web about a young lady who decided to take her dog, pickup truck and an the idea to feed and cloth the homeless in all 50 states in 50 weeks. Here is a link to her website: http://www.shaykelley.com/ Go check it out. A simple idea from the heart of one individual to do a “Come Big” thing. She could have stayed home much like the 11-year-old could have but they saw a need and acted on it.

Can you envision your “Come Big” thing. Dare you give it some time to work in your heart and mind? I bet you would surprise even yourself if you gave yourself a chance. Not sure you are up to Big? Then start small.  Giving to the entire spectrum of charitable organizations is but a mouse click away. For as little as $25 you can partner with micro-loan organizations to give a third world or local business start-ups the infusion of cash they need to raise their stand of living. Click on the Micro-loan tab at the top of this page for more information on how you can get started.

The advent of social networking has made it possible for people from around the world to meet and dialogue over the topics that affect us all.

So unless you squirrel yourself away in some dark disconnected cave you will have a more difficult time avoiding the opportunity to engage at some juncture in your person life journey. And engage we must. Just the other day I engaged in a brief dialogue with a friend over a statement I pasted in my FB (Facebook for those of you still lagging) page. This friend made a giant leap of conjecture to an extreme positional statement that fell far outside the framework of my initial statement. I took the opportunity to not react, and risk driving the wedge of difference into our friendship, and instead responded with additional substance on the original statement. They came back, after realizing I was not to be baited into the reactionary gas on the fire, response, with a statement that they felt that we, in fact, had more common ground in our basic philosophes, but just some minor differences on fringe elements of our two positions.

This is just one example of what you don’t hear much about from our talking heads and media darlings. Again, the dissemination of rational conversation over local and global topics is not what “for profit” corporate media outlets are attracted to . Why, because the more sensational and inflammatory the hyperbole the bigger the revenue stream floods into their corporate and personal fortunes.

I believe that people really do want to have sane, sensible, rational and engaging dialogue on the vast number of topics where our feeling of safety, charity, fidelity and humanity can be laid open without the fear of someone inflaming old stereotypes and/or phobias.  

So, start talking with that stranger drinking that cup of java sitting next to you. You might be surprised where the conversation might lead. Think about the little thing, that when added to the other little things (micro loans) can add up and make real change. Then jump out there and find a way to engage in you community.

What ever you do, don’t “stay home”, get out there. Just imagine what would not have happened if some folks in a land called Egypt had “stayed home”.

I hope this missive finds you well and productive, enjoying life and enduring, if that is your lot in life at the moment.

….the journey continues….

Richard

As 2010 Slowly Comes To A Close…

… I reflect back on the last 12 months and am filled with all kinds of feelings and emotions. I remember back in January after packing away Christmas for another year, I thought, OK, I’m going to make more changes and strive to re-establish some past changes that paid dividends in many areas of my life. I must have drifted off and taken a nap and when I woke I was climbing back up that ladder to the attic with my son to retrieve Christmas again. Can anyone tell me what happened during the intervening months.

I know, you’ve been there too. Let’s see, February, oh yes, our 36th wedding anniversary. My wife should be given the highest civilian medal for staying with me for that long.  March, hummm, now I remember, I flew to the East Bay city of San Leandro, CA to help pack and drive my sister to Arizona where she will take up residence in Mom’s house in the mountains. At the end of April, Sally (my spouse) went on Sisters Weekend and my brother-in-law, Jim Parker, and I went camping in the Chiricahua mountains of southern Arizona. I wrote about that trip in my May 14th posting which can be found in the Archives. In May I participated in a book club group that studied the “Bhagavida Gita – according to Gandhi” which was very revealing and provided much to think and ponder about. I had the distinct honor of officiating at the wedding of a dear friend and former co-worker in June up in Medford, Oregon. What a beautiful wedding in a beautiful state. This being my first trip to Oregon I took the opportunity to check out the surrounding region which included watching some men fish for salmon on the Rogue River and a run up to Crater Lake. It was a great trip and I look forward to visiting again.

July was a typically hot month in the valley of the sun with temps well into the 100′s so what better time to escape to the alpine mountains of Eastern Arizona. My family held a “Family Reunion Campout” at 9100 feet in the White Mountains and had a great time. It was one of those memory making events for the family which the little ones will always remember. At the end of August we took our youngest son to San Francisco to continue his college career at the Art’s Academy University where he is majoring in cinematography. The kid’s got talent so someday I will be telling you all to watch some movie and stay for the credits where his name will be listed as a camara operator. In September it was still so hot that I thought I was going to die, but alas, I survived. October I hosted the 4th Annual Superstition Pumpkin Glow. This is a strictly men’s event held out in the foot hills of the Superstition Mountains. We carve pumpkins, eat my world-famous chili, light up the pumpkins at dusk and sit around the campfire swapping stories, eating S’mores and making chili music, if you get my drift. That last part is why it is strictly a men’s event. Nothing much happened in November aside from me turning 61 and giving a concert on the last Sunday of the month. I hadn’t done a concert in forever but I had a great time, Sally played the piano well and I had the chance to sing with some of my family.

Now it’s December and this month is always full of things to do and participate in. As I write this it is Thursday, the 23rd and tonight is the Compton’s Christmas Eve’s Eve party. All the family who can make it come over, we share the traditional Mexican food potluck, sing Christmas carols, tell the Christmas story and exchange gifts.

So another year has passed and next year holds many unknowns. But I know that I have much to look forward to and so do you. I hope that maybe something that I wrote about this past year or so has been meaningful to you or at least gave you a good laugh.

Blessings on all of you…………

….the journey continues….

Richard

Why I Don’t Twitter and Other Random Thoughts

Have you  noticed how Twitter has tag teamed with Facebook to be the generational go to thing for the world today. Just about ever thing and every one can be Twittered. What’s up with that? Do we not already have enough ways for the corporate world to borrow into our lives without being Twittered ever time Denny’s has a Slam special or Kohl’s “door busters” are about to bust?

If I signed up to be Twittered to or to Twitter with every opportunity or person that exist out there, well, let’s just say that I would never sleep. You can only know so much and then it tends to go in one ear or eyeball and out the other. When Twitter first came out I thought it was kind of cool and so I signed up for an account. I even twitterd a time or two. The response….crickets… Then I realized that the reason I was not receiving any twitterings back was because I hadn’t built a network of fellow Twitterers who can’t live without knowing when I go to the bathroom or go to the store to pick up a head of lettuce.  I figured that if I didn’t really need to know every movement or thought a person was thinking or doing then maybe no one needed to know mine. So I don’t Twitter. If you do, well knock your self out and tweet to your heart’s content.

And are you as tired of this whole political season. As I write this, it is November 1, my birthday if you didn’t know, and tomorrow is election day. It can’t come soon enough for me. Between the constant negative ad’s on TV and the littering of our common tera firma with all the signs it is enough to make a person just want to start a petition to limit the amount of signage and air time for all this junk they call campaigning. And unless you have missed it, we can thank the Supreme Court for the ratcheting up of the advertising volume as corporations and special interest groups are now free to spend any amount of money they like to defeat a person or proposition. That in and of itself has exacerbated the vitriolic rhetoric that just makes one sick. Civility and common decency has gone on vacation and hyper negativity rules the airwaves and print media. Between the talking heads on radio and TV and robo calls, enough is enough.

It’s November 4th now and the election is history. Congrats to the Repub’s on their sweeping victory. OK so you now have about two years to balance the budget, finish building the wall on the southern border of our country, return the country to full employment, capture Osama Bin you know who, win the war on drugs, and eliminate the national debt. Good luck with that……..

Oh,  drug ads are back. I sware, just listening to all the side effects these new wonder drugs have is enough to make a person seek out a jar of vapo-rub an ice pack with some Witch Hazel thrown in for good measure as the cure-all for what ails ya! And take you aspirin every day.

Am I sounding like an old guy yet?

I recently went with a group of friends to see the movie, “Inside Job”, the story of the financial crash of 2008 and how it all happened. This is one eye-opening movie to see. I felt that I was somewhat knowledgable about what brought on the economic collapse, but seeing it all laid out in a continuum from the early events that set the stage to the actual dirty deeds that created the tsunami that hit our homes and pocket books. No one political party is immune from some portion of guilt in this mess. But those who perpetrated this crime against our country are largely still in power either in the corporate world or the political one.

Where we are today and where we are headed tomorrow as a species sort of makes me glad to be in the later third of my life. As I have written in other posts on this blog, in the end Mother Nature will have her way with us. As it was in the movie, “The Matrix” you can either take the pill that opens your eyes and lifts the vale to see the bigger picture and the ugly truth that is, or you can take the other pill and wake up in your cozy world oblivious of what IS happening in and to our small blue planet.

And lastly, today is the one year anniversary of the passing of my dear Mother, may she rest in peace. She was a strong-willed woman who had a deep and abiding love for her maker and did her best to instill the same faith in the lives of her children, grand children and great grand children. Love and miss you Mom!

Well, this is the end of this post and now you know why I don’t twitter and other random stuff. Never the less, I pray you all are living life to the fullest and doing your part to make this world a better place.

….the journey continues…..

Richard

Football Friday!

When our family moved into the neighborhood next to the local high school some 16 years ago, we started attending the football games because it just seemed to be the thing to do living, literally, four doors down from the campus.

Over the years this Friday night ritual has had its highs and lows but most importantly it has acted as a window into a part of the fabric of America.  That slice of Americana where families gather together for a few hours to sing the National Anthem, eat snacks from the booster run snack bar, watch the marching band get better with each passing week, catch up on neighborhood gossip, let the little kids play in the open space down by the end zone, provide a place for the junior high kids to practice their socialization and, oh, watch football.

When I think of how in towns and cities from coast to coast, border to border millions of Americans all participate in this fall season of parking lot tailgating, homecoming and if you are lucky, the playoffs. It is easy to see how special this ten to twelve week season of the school year is.

We all gather to cheer on the boys as they execute their playbook under the guiding hands of their coaches. Watching them grow up and mature with each passing season. We sometimes shake our heads and mumble, “what was the coach thinking” when WE can’t see the sense of a particular play. And we all feel the hair rise on the back of your necks when the men in strips seem to get flag happy every time our team has their hands on the ball. We pray each time a player doesn’t bounce up after a play and watch the staff rush to their side to assess the damage to such a young body. Most often they do get up to the sound of all fans clapping, shake it off and get back at it . Oh, the resiliency of youth!

 The Spirit Line, with their high-pitched unison voices, trying their best to get the crowd of town folk to join in, as they make every effort to elevate the energy level of the evening. And it is interesting to see the girls facial expressions gain confidence with each passing week of being lifted high above the other girls on one leg being held upright by their teammates. The fear of falling seems to lessen with each game.

And then there is the Marching Band. Our school, over the years has had several band directors who have each put their own unique stamp on halftime shows that, like the football team, had its good years and not so good years. But even when the numbers were down and the drill maybe not so complex, there still is that feel good factor that is visible on the parents faces as they watch their freshmen son or daughter step off for the first time. As a parent who had that personal experience, I can tell you, I wondered if our oldest would be able to do all that fancy footwork, marching backwards, sideways and every other which way, all the time keeping that horn facing forward and remembering the music and not messing up. Well, when the Drum Major gave that first cue he was off and I was amazed and proud. It was a Football Friday memory for me. The first of many to come.

 The season is short and before you know it you are at Senior night when we see the senior players, cheerleaders and band members walk onto the field with their families and friends in tow. For the football players they know that this will probably be their last time to play football as the caliber of talent to play at the next level is a bar set beyond the abilities of most all your average high school football players. It is much the same for the cheerleaders and band members too. But never the less, the memories they make during these years will be memories that stick with them most vividly for the rest of their lives.    

Then in future years you watch those graduates return to sit in the stands to watch and cheer on their younger siblings. And later to return with their small children to dream, will my son be that star athlete, the one to run that kickoff back one hundred yards for the game winning touchdown. Will a daughter follow in the footsteps of their Mom and make that Senior Spirit Line? And will our son or daughter be the one to go from the high school field to the college campus and march in a really big band?

All are questions that only history will answer. But last night I sat through another Senior night and the line was long with students moving on to that next level. Their parents were no less proud as those who have made that walk with their child before them. We won the game, 61-7 against an 0 and 9 team that was scratching and clawing to get that one touchdown. Our last game of this fall season, and it is finally fall in Arizona, is an away game. I’m confident that the stadium we go to next week where we are the visitors, will have the same feel to it, that same energy, same spirit. A little different maybe, but at its root another one of the threads of life that make up the fabric of America.

It is that whole interplay between the players, band, spirit line, children, parents, teachers and administrators creating a kaleidoscope of colors, textures and emotions that combined in four quarters of excitement or boredum depending on the opposition and their determination to smash the home team and dash those hopes for a state title. Yes, that is Friday Football in America and I love it.

Well, next Monday is my birthday, #61, and I have been employed about 5 months. I still am amazed that I was out of work for so long, only to be humbled and brought back to the reality of our countries current condition where millions are still seeking a way to put food on the table and a roof over their heads.

This is the one year anniversary of “The Unexpected Journeys of an Ordinary Man” and I can’t believe how the time has flown by.

I am blessed in so many ways and have so much to be thankful for. I am thankful for you, the readers, for your support and encouragement. Many of you are my former co-workers and to you I wish you every success as your company goes through the struggle of two becoming one. Sounds like a marriage in a strange sort of way.

If this post seems a bit rambly…please forgive.

….the journey continues….

Richard

Simplicity

“It’s simple really”, or, “simply irresistible”, or “you said it would be simple”, or “simple is as simple does”. I could go on and on with phrases that use some form of the word simple. But in this paper I want to look at “Simplicity”.

Here is what Wikipedia has to say about Simplicity and I like it as a jumping off point.

“Simplicity is a more qualitative word connected to simple. It is a property, condition, or quality which things can be judged to have. It usually relates to the burden which a thing puts on someone trying to explain or understand it. Something which is easy to understand or explain is simple, in contrast to something complicated. In some uses, simplicity can be used to imply beauty, purity or clarity. Simplicity may also be used in a negative connotation to denote a deficit or insufficiency of nuance or complexity of a thing, relative to what is supposed to be required.

The concept of simplicity has been related to truth in the field of epistemology. According to Occam’s razor, all other things being equal, the simplest theory is the most likely to be true. In the context of human lifestyle, simplicity can denote freedom from hardship, effort or confusion. Specifically, it can refer to a simple living lifestyle.”

When I was in sales I went to a sales seminar where the keynote speaker talked about the KISS method of sales.  No, not selling kisses but when faced with the task of convincing someone to buy something sometimes the best thing is to “Keep It Simple, Stupid”.  In other words, don’t oversell. But you can apply the KISS principle to almost every circumstance imaginable, like living.

We Americans have a way of making living very complicated. And don’t think that the “good ol’ days” were not complicated because they were. It is all a matter of perspective.  Regardless of your wealth, or lack thereof, your ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, living is complicated.

And why is it that way?  Why must living be so complicated? Where did it all get off track?  As I reflect on my life in my 30’s, 40’s and up to about my mid 50’s I was the one that made my life so complicated. But now that I have entered my sixth decade something seems to be coming crystal clear. And that is that the simplicity of it all is where it’s at.

You see, when I was in my younger years I was completely invested in the work hard, make more money, acquire more stuff, work harder, make more money, get a bigger house and so on and so forth. I had bought into everything the world of marketers and media had projected on me in order to feel good and be successful.

And you know what, I made more money, I bought more stuff, I got the bigger house but did that do it for me? At each benchmark I thought it did a lot for me. I was going to give my children a better life than I had growing up or die trying.

Now as I look around at the world I live in, as I read more periodicals, talk with more people and in general be a more observant person I see and encounter complexity at every turn permeating every facet of our existence.

There was a time when I actually was in management training for Foodmaker, Inc., the parent company of Jack-In-The-Box.  During training they gave us these four inch three ring binders that contained an excruciatingly in-depth description of how every product was to be constructed. It was unbelievably complicate. You see, to them there was no simplicity in making a hamburger.

Most recently we all have been bombarded with one political or social fire storm after another. Every debate is complicated. Every word parsed, every vocal inflection tagged with some nefarious meaning. The more complicated the more the rhetoric is ratcheted up. But the truth, when you strip away all the layers of what every interested party tries to dress the subject up in, is usually very simple.

The simplicity of it all is that it really is so simple. You say, OK Richard, just what do you mean by that. Well, for me there was simplicity in my weight loss journey and that was, eat less and move more.  If I burned more calories than I consumed then I was going to lose weight. Simple.

You want to get out of debt?  The simplicity of that is spending less than you make and save some for the future.  Simple.

You want better gas mileage out of your car? The simplicity of that is doing the basics of maintenance.  Change the oil regularly, keep your tires at the correct air pressure, don’t be a led foot because stopping at every stoplight is a real drag on your gas mileage. Simple.  

I could go on and on but you get the picture. Take anything you want to improve or change and drill down to the foundational basics and there you will find the simplicity of the solution.

I love the words of the old Shaker hymn “Simple Gifts”. I’m sure you have heard it before.  

“Simple Gifts” was written by Elder Joseph while he was at the Shaker community in Alfred, Maine in 1848.

‘Tis the gift to be simple, ’tis the gift to be free,

‘Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,

And when we find ourselves in the place just right,

‘Twill be in the valley of love and delight.

When true simplicity is gain’d,

To bow and to bend we shan’t be asham’d,

To turn, turn will be our delight,

Till by turning, turning we come round right.”

I love this text because it embodies what I’m trying to say.

In simpleness there is freedom. 

It is a gift to come down to where we ought to be. Not where the marketers and media moguls want us to be. 

You will find yourself in the place just right, and when you are there, what you will experience is love and delight.

When you gain the simplicity of it all, you will not be ashamed of being different because as you turn and turn in your seeking of simplicity, you will discover the delight of the true you.

And, for you, you will come round right. Not the right of any other influence but your right.

There is something to be said for living more simply and living with less.  It is a journey that many are moving towards.  I’m moving in that direction a little at a time. Like some gamblers who are “all in”, some are dumping it all and making an “all in” move to the simple or simpler life.

When I see pictures of people on foreign soils that obviously have less than we Americans have, most of the time, all things being equal, they seem to be happy people with just what they have.

Shall we push ourselves away from the table of consumption and excess?  Shall we turn in our membership card in the club of more? Shall we look deep into our inner most self and find contentment in the “valley of love and delight?

Something to think about isn’t it?

RA Compton – August / October 2010

The Empty Nest

Well, my new job is keeping me VERY busy and that has cut into my writing time in a serious way. Gone are the leisurely afternoons spent sitting at a table in Wildflower Bread Company putting pen to paper, observing life and visiting with new found friends.

Now, when I can get there for an occasional lunch some of the “regulars” ask me where I have been. It’s nice to be missed from my “third place”.

But life goes on and the title of this post is “The Empty Nest”. Yes, we delivered our youngest son, Seth, to The Academy of Arts University in San Francisco three weeks ago and now we are officially empty nesters. Those of you who still have children at home, the day does come just give it time.

I knew this time was coming when Seth graduated from high school and began his college career. Once he enrolled in Junior College I began to feel the slow but sure movement of him, from being our son who lit up our lives, to becoming that independent young man on the road to adulthood. With each year of college he spent more time away from the nest doing his thing and less and less time at home for dinner and just hanging out.

From a very early age Seth seemed to have one foot in the adult world as he related so well with the adult community. His wisdom, gained at such a young age, would manifest itself to us in many small ways. His heart for people and spirit of service in helping others brought him insights into the human condition long before other in his age group. His early maturity has made it easier for him to begin moving towards  the adult world.

When Seth discovered his love for and gift with film it didn’t take long for him to become an, “in demand” camera operator on the student film circuit this summer.

Here is the link to his 2010 Reel. This reel shows small clips from the seven films he worked on this summer. He is the young man at the beginning slapping that film thingy they use to mark each shot.

http://vimeo.com/14682977

OK, so enough bragging. Back to the journey to San Francisco…

As Seth and I made our way to San Francisco we stopped off at my sister Kay’s house in Oceanside for rest and food. We drove down to the marina, parked the “big girl” as my sister call her SUV, and made our way to Joe’s Crab Shak. After dinner we strolled down to the beach and as we walked along, memories of the young man next to me came flooding back. Summer vacations spent at Aunt Kay’s with all the animals and trips to the beach were memories that easily filled our minds as we talked of those days. I could see that blond boy with a boggy board headed out to play in the waves. Oh sweet childhood.

Next day we headed to SF and with Seth driving the second half of the day he was like a horse headed for the barn. The man couldn’t get to the City fast enough. We arrived at his dorm in the late afternoon on Thursday and unloaded his stuff to get him settled in  his room. Room 509  is a room on the top floor with a great view. Lucky kid!

That night Sally flew in and on Friday morning we attended the parents event and once that was done went to pick up Seth to shop for things he needed that we didn’t want to cart over from Arizona. Seth’s ”sister” Grace tagged along and it was a fun day of shopping, eating, making right turns and deciding that getting Seth the Blackberry with all the bells and whistles was worth it after he began to give Dad turn by turn directions in the city of one way streets.

After stops at Costco, Target and a couple of meals at the diner near out hotel, we spent the evening in Seth’s room watching him unpack his new fridge and get it hid  from the room inspectors. That was fun. Sally wanted to stay and not leave when time came to go and let the boy get some rest. She was really beginning to feel separation anxiety.

Saturday morning we had breakfast together and then went to his room for one last visit to check out his handy work. It was his space. Desk arranged, posters up, cloths on the floor, stereo all set up, laptop up and running, it was him. A bit of home in a room on Nob Hill.

Finally the time came to say our goodbyes. Standing on the street in front of his dorm I held him and smelled him and kissed him and that all to familiar lump in my throat came up, but I wanted to be strong. Sally was unable to hold it in, she cried. Then I turned to get in the car and the tears came. Not the flood, that would come later. But I looked at Sally and as we drove away I looked in the rear view mirror and watched our boy walk into the next turn in his journey of life.

Several days later I’m sitting at my desk and he came to my mind. I missed him. I got up and went into his room, grabbed his comforter and smelled. I cried and cried. My boy is on his way to manhood and this world is so lucky he is on his way.

Seth is a good person; gifted, driven, but loving, sensitive and caring. He will make some young woman a great husband. But for now, all you girls stay away from our boy because he needs to focus, or is that, he needs to “pull focus”. He is a cinematography major after all. He wants to make films. Be the man behind the camera.

The house is quiet now. His presence is less with each passing week. But every once in a while I go in  his room and stand there and feel him again. Take a deep breath and go on with  my day.

And so the journey continues. Me on mine and he on his.

I hope this post finds you all well and enjoying life to the fullest. If you took a child to college I would love to hear your story.

…the journey continues…

Richard

Three Poems

I’ve been in a writing slump for the past several months with my new job and all taking center stage in my daily life.  So this post I thought I would share three poems with you.  Poetry is such a subjective thing and I’m sure some of you could just as well pass on anything that has to do with poetry. But when this ordinary man began this journey of discovery a little over a year ago, the urge to write poetry just surged from someplace inside of me. 

I’ve been attending a Poetry Roundtable each month for several months where between six and ten poets get together and share poems with each other. You are to bring copies of what you are going to read for everyone to have so they can make notes for the feedback time.  It is so interesting how some poems really work from the first time they spill out of me and others the group takes apart and parses to the nth degree.

All done in the name of seeking to make our work better. To improve our skill set. And it is equally interesting how people hearing the same reading can come up with such different interpretations of what they heard. Sort of like when several people standing on the street corner all see the same accident and when interviewed by the attending officer, give such different versions of what happened.  One of the poems that you will read today was one that was dismantled by the group and I re-tooled it to make it work better.  So here goes……….

(Oh, I apologize for how these formated when I imported them from my desktop. They don’t look as nice as they do in the Word.doc the come from)

Poem #5 Six Shopping Mall Observations

 

 

1.

They sit on the chairs or sofas,

                Heads off center mouths agape eyes closed bodies relaxed,

Sometimes the vocal emanations turn heads,

                Causing smiles and giggles from pre-teen girls,

Eye rolls by teenagers who easily embarrass,

                Snoozing men making the best of the afforded boredom.

 

 

2.

With the fixated determination of a military operation they come,

                Their multipurpose transporter carry-all and sheltered refuge loaded for the day’s excursion,

Its special cargo cinched in for the duration

                Or at least until nature calls or hunger overpowers their sense of decorum,

The young mothers who with their charges under canopy,

                March three abreast down the slick polished floors,

Headed for the 40% off sale on items they feel they must have,

                Only upon returning home to find they already own two of what they

Simply could not live without.

 

 

 

3.

You see them scatter, then regroup, scatter, regroup again,

                The covey of excitable teeth braced high pitched voiced

At the cusp of puberty iPod ear bud sharing constant chattering

                Lip gloss hair pulled back mismatched socks,

Wandering here and there texting laughing more texting

                More laughter, mindless directionless but never the less

Focused on unimaginable interpersonal drama with a touch of

                Unexpected grace beauty and possibility,

That only eight or nine junior high girls could possibly bring to

                The rarified air of your standard issue shopping mall.

 

4.

In uniform issued black dress and clear plastic purse she comes,

                Head up with purposeful stride, phone to ear, conversation of the critical nature,

It’s the lunch break you know.

               Destination predetermined, her order fixed in mind, debit card at the ready,

 With only 30 minutes allotted, time management is crucial,

              Arrival timed to coincide with additional order persons at their registers,

And her favorite table eyed, occupied, back up spied, it’s open.

             She places her order and moves to order delivery holding area,

Ear still listing to conversation on phone, while

            Picking up tray, gathering speed and moving in direction of back up table,

What would the young, upwardly mobile cosmetic sales clerk do,

             If they ever closed Paradise Bakery?

5.

You hear them before you ever see them,

                One with unchanged voice,

Another with a voice that cannot make up its mind,

                Pushing shoving arm slugging,

Mimicking manly swagger and foul language,

                All dressed with uniform dissimilarity,

Gawking staring ogling stumbling falling staggering,

                Crude dialogue mindless mouthing endless cursing,

Outsized loud laughter, verbal jabs thrown at unsuspecting shoppers.

                Who are these boys who march like Sherman through Georgia,

Up and down the hall ways and food courts of your suburban mall,

                Some Mother’s son, sister’s brother, shy, self seeking child,

Looking for some acknowledgement security safety,

                Playing a role in the complicated world of teenage boyhood.

 

 

6.

They pass you before you know it, you blink and they are gone,

                Walking shoes laced tightly pedometer set at 10,000 steps,

Visor or cap snug on the crown of their head,

                Distance measured in store fronts and aisle intersections,

Route and direction on autopilot they mark time and move,

                Eyes always looking ahead, potential obstacles measured,

Evasive moves at the ready, the mall walkers are coming,

                Solo duo triple threat, some headed one direction

Others headed the other,

                They smile wave tip the brim of their visor or cap,

If nothing else they are polite, but machine like in their form,

                And then… they are gone.

                                RA Compton – August 4, 2009

This next poem is a reflective poem about a journey I took as a kid to a land called Texas and….well, see if you can relate.

Poem #11          Are We There Yet?

 

It has seemed a lifetime since leaving our home,

                Our journey mapped, our car packed,

A drive of a million miles in the mind of this child,

                The distance from Arizona to Texas in 1955.

Are we there yet?

Stops for gas and rest on the road to somewhere,

                Meals taken but not recalled, food the passing necessity,

Days pass, miles pass too, I wonder, does this place really exist,

                Stops made at State lines, new lands all look the same.

Are we there yet?

Unfamiliar towns, names with no meaning,

                 People look like people back home in this far away land,

Assurances of journeys end repeated by our Mother,

               More naps taken on lumpy back seats,

Are we there yet?

Mom’s voice changes, her anticipation rises,

                The turn from State Route to Farm to Market road made,

A short distance to her, but forever in this child’s mind,

                Finally doors flung wide, hugs and tears of joy flow.

Are we there yet?

                Yes! Yes! Yes! We are here now!

                                RA Compton – September 17, 2009

The final poem has probably happened to all of you at one time or another……

It just seems to happen to me a lot!

 

Poem #23  The Wrong Line    

 

It doesn’t matter which line I choose,

          It will be the wrong one.

It doesn’t matter how short the line is,

          It will be the wrong one.

It doesn’t matter if it is 12 items or less,

          It will be the wrong one. 

It doesn’t matter that I have cash,

          It will be the wrong one.

It doesn’t matter how badly I need to move,

          It will be the wrong one.

It just seems to not matter what I do,

          It will always be the wrong one.

R. Compton – 12/30/09

The Extreme Bean – Tempe, AZ

So there you have it people.  I hope there was something in there that you could enjoy or relate to. 

 

I’m working on an essay for future publication on the topic of simplicity.  I know, should be very simple to write but several things I’ve been reading and observations of the human condition have moved me to explore this topic.  And there will be a surprise feature embedded in the posting, that is if I can get it to work.

So, as always, I hope this posting finds you well and enjoying life to its fullest.

….the journey continues….

Richard

Assurance the 5th of the 5A’s

 

I recently went in for my six month dental cleaning and check-up. I’ve had the same dental hygienist for several years now and have had the opportunity to observe how her weight has yo-yo’ed over that time.  You see, my hygienist had, by her own admission, the exercise side of a sustainable weight loss program down, but not the “what you eat part” side, hence the yo-yo effect.

But when I walked in on this most recent visit I saw her sitting behind the counter and had she changed.  She came to the door and invited me back for my exam and cleaning and as we walked along it was evident that my hygienist had lost a lot of weight.

When we got to her chair I turned and told her, “you look great!”  That was an affirming Assurance, the fifth of the 5A’s.

Her smile was ear to ear as she thanked me for recognizing her 40lb loss.  She said that I had inspired her which was an Assurance to me that the changes I had made in my eating life were not only working for me but were inspiring to others.  My hyginist is clearly committed to a new lifewalk when it comes to her eating. But, she knows that the hard work lies ahead for her as it does for me. 

I reminded her that ever affirming Assurance she receives validates her Action plan and that is really where the rubber meets the road.  Her Assurances  arise from a very visible change in her. But not all changes in ones lifewalk will readily elicit verbal Assurances.

It is possible that the work you  have been doing has involved inner changes, the results of which, are not visible to the casual observer.  Consequently, your Assurances may also take some time for others to express, if ever.

Is it necessary for us to receive Assurances in order for our 5A work to be fruitful?  Of course, the answer is no. So, if the only one who knows changes have taken place in you is you, then celebrate your accomplishments in the knowledge that your bodylife work has moved you in a positive direction. 

With time, the subtle changes you made will begin to bear fruit in ways that will eventually lead others to notice that something is different.

Can some changes cause a negative reaction in others? Sadly, the answer is yes. It is possible that positive changes in you can cause others to become jealous or develop fear of how those changes might alter their relationship with you.

Knowledge is the fear killer. You may need to consider sharing the Awareness you had which led to the behavioral changes in you and the 5A process that you went through. It’s funny, but even the most clearly positive change in a person can give rise to fear in another.

Meet the fear head on with openness and truth.  However others may deal with, react or respond to positive change in you is not something you need to consider when developing your Action plan.

Maybe they will look inside themselves and see something that needs to be addressed.  Maybe they will come to you and seek to know why and how you came to be as you now are. In this, what was a troubling or difficult issue in you, has now become a spring-board for you to help others.  A venue for seeds of change to fall on fertile ground .  If helping ones self leads to helping another, then all benefit.

Finally, do not be discouraged if others fail to see the positive lifewalk changes in you. Know that your higher power sees and knows and in that you can trust, be at peace and know unconditional love.

This completes the 5A journey. Maybe there is something in them that you have been able to take and use for your own personal benefit.  I would be the last to say that the 5A’s are the end all in dealing with life issues, but they have worked for me and maybe they can word for you.  Please feel free to contact me if you would like to talk more about how the 5A’s might be of benefit to you.

              Next time, more poems and pictures of our recent family reunion.

….the journey continues….

Richard

Some Thoughts on Anger

The other day while riding my bicycle home from my favorite hangout, Wildflower Bread Company, I had occasion to observe an incident that happened in a flash and could have had devastating consequences had circumstances been just a little different.

Two drivers had a road rage moment right before my eyes. It only took a second for the offense to happen and even less time for a shower of verbal sewage to be dumped onto the surprised offender. It was all so vile, so offensive, so scary in what could have been a real who knows what.

I rode on once I realized that traffic flow would prevent the escalation of verbal weaponry to something worse. It got me to thinking about anger and how it lies just below the surface and can explode at the littlest provocation.  Later that day I had a chance to experience that same rush, that surge of heat, that moment of, “why are you doing this to ME?”

The following essay is the result of that days experiences. Maybe you can relate at some point.

Some Thoughts on Anger                                

by Richard Compton

Residing just below the epidermis of our emotional skin lays anger. With the potential volatility of a repressed volcano, it can explode onto the landscape of unexpectedness. It requires little, if any, stimulation to make its unabashed presence known.

To some, anger acts as a relief valve, much like the kettle sitting on a hot burner signals the need for attention. Anger is neutral with regards to gender, ethnicity, politics, religion and any other perceived bias. It is an equal opportunity parasite that is comfortable and adaptable to all circumstances and situations. Every living being plays host to this most insidious of guests. Your station in life plays no role in the power and tenaciousness of its impact.

Fortunes have been lost and wars waged because of anger. The precious sanctity of life is folly in the back-wash of anger. There is no “upside” with anger. Everyone swept up in the riptide of anger loses. “Win-Win” is not a possibility when anger alone injects itself into our lives.

On may think they have a handle on anger. Do not be deceived. With the right circumstances and egregious affront, even the most stayed will feel the rush of heat that wells up from that hidden inner space within us. And without much cause, burst forth to splash on all within earshot.

I know, I’ve been there and I have seen the ugly underbelly of anger on more than one occasion. Anger is a “one size fits all” custom fit for all occasions. It can manifest in a nanosecond and last a generation. Anger can be a solo act or imbue the masses with a communal contagion which topples governments, exposes injustice and bleeds a national bloodline in an attempt to cleanse the soul of humanity.

Anger is timeless and infinite in its potential for bad and good. What good can come from anger you may ask? Good comes when anger is paired with resolve and positive purpose. Like the anger a parent may feel when confronted with the unexpected loss of a child due to disease or violence. Their resolve to find a cure or pass legislation can channel the initial onslaught of anger for a greater good.

And like the athlete who turns anger with under-performance into a fresh resolve and commitment to move beyond the normal expectation to achieve new heights. In both cases anger, without positive purpose and resolve, could have led to ugly wounds that fester for a lifetime and stifle unknown potential. But because they were pared with resolve and positive purpose, they brought changes for the better.

Ancient etchings and paintings by people in history to modern representations tell the story of anger in its eternal presence and manifestations. What will history write about us, the people of now, in future generations? What will your story be?

Mine was one of useless anger that spilled out upon people who did not earn or deserve the verbal imposition of the all important “I”. But within moments of the affront a sense of, “Richard, it’s just a parking spot you idiot” sweeps in and I know that I am still in touch with my “core of good” that drove me to seek out the offended and apologize for my childish behavior. Yes, childish behavior. Call it what it is! You see, I never noticed another person backing out of a space right next to me that I could have used. Instead, I was so focused on the other spot. The offending other driver saw that I was waiting obviously for the spot right next to me and pulled into the one I was fixated on. It was obvious, right? I would obviously take the spot right next to me, right?

Well imagine his surprise when I rolled my window down and allowed anger to raise its ugly voice. The look on his face was pure astonishment that I would want a parking spot farther away than the one right next to me, which was obvious to everyone but me, would have been the logical choice.

When regret came over me and I knew I had to find him and apologize. You can imagine the look on his and his wife’s faces as I approached them in the store. I’m sure they were ready for me to continue my regurgitation of ugliness.

I came up to him, looked him directly in the eyes and said, “I am so sorry for my childish behavior in the parking lot, I hope you will forgive me” and then stuck out my hand in the hopes that he would receive my apology in the spirit it was given and give me that cultural sign of assurance, the firm hand shake. He did, and went on to explain to my astonishment about the OTHER parking space that was RIGHT NEXT TO ME, that in my fixated moment did not see.

We went on to have a good conversation, but I still felt so stupid for allowing anger to embarrass me in front of them and who knows how many other people in the parking lot.

So, the next time that driver in the other lane cuts you off, or an impatient person cuts in line when the line around the building to see that feature film finally starts to move, or the coach of your child’s athletic team doesn’t play your child when you think they should, causes the welling of heat and raised blood pressure to surge forth from just under your skin. STOP!

Take a moment, count to 100, say the Pledge of Allegiance or repeat the Lord’s Prayer. Before you know it, the surge will pass and the unknown calamity that could have been will not materialize. In most of life’s intersects where the ugliness of anger spills forth, reflection will shine light on the foolishness of it all. And hopefully you too will have the chance to redeem yourself to the offended.

If nothing else, take a deep breathe and know that you will be a better person for not giving anger a forum to play its head games with you.

….the journey continues….

Richard

Assessment – the 4th of the 5A’s and a Poem

Last month we covered Action, the 3rd of the 5A’s.  Now comes the hard part for many of us, Assessment.  I don’t know about you but I hate to look at myself when it comes to assessing the performance and validity of actions that I put in place to change something from negative to positive. Even if things are going well I still have reservations about that kind of reflection.

Why? Fear is why. Crazy as it may sound, we fear assessments of almost any kind. Call it a crisis of self-confidence  and a fear that there might be something wrong with what we are doing. We like to think that if we put a plan in action then it is right and should be followed through with without reservation.

But if feedback from your Action plan is returning in less than positive terms then one must assess the plan, make adjustments and move forward.  A setback doesn’t necessarily mean that you were negligent in your Action, but it is possible that circumstances have changed and a fresh look is in order.  You must remember that back when you were developing your Action plan you could not have known what the future would bring and how causal changes would impact you.

Assessment is an ongoing process. You never stop taking a look at what you are doing to be sure that the target is always in front of you. Without ongoing assessment then focus can drift and results begin to reflect that drift.  Most often we drift away from our targeted results due to a relaxed attitude that comes when we think our plan is working.  If no one is criticizing us then our Action plan must be on target. Shouldn’t it? One might think that but as they say, the devil is in the details. Subtle neglects and less than total focus can allow drift to creep in and before you know it, you are back to the baseline behavior that got you started in the first place. And do we really want to go back there?

I have been assessing the changes in my eating lifestyle and have noticed a few weak places and relapses that have led to the tightening of my waist line again. Self talk said, “do I really want to go THERE again?” So assessment quickly pointed out that I had slipped back into some old habits and that my lack of laser focus on what I consume led to a relaxed drifting away from the core plan that produced the 60 pound loss.  

Assessment may not be fun but boy is it in our best interest to do it.  Don’t neglect this valuable tool and key step in the 5A’s.  If feedback is sending mixed signals or you become conflicted as to what to do next, then a visit to your professional counselor may be in order.  An outside view can shed light on areas we over look or ignor.  Remember that the overall goal is positive and meaningful change.

You became Aware, you Acknowledged, you’ve taken Action, Assessment has led to refining and refocus. Affirmation will complete the 5A circle.  We will look at Affirmation in depth next month. Or, maybe the month after that.  Who knows.

A Poem!

Poem #4 On My Way To Costco

 

There they were, gathered in the shade,

Huddled in the corner of the parking lot,

One lying on its side in the gutter,

Up to there, in water.

Different in many ways, but the same too,

Colors, some bright, some faded.

Some wire, some metal, some plastic,

All still wanting to hold.

Some strayed behind the dumpster,

Others to the apartment complex next door.

Some spooned with others,

Most were loners though.

Occasionally one was sacrificed for reasons unknown,

Made to become something not intended.

Each longing for the familiar feel of their own asphalt,

Or concrete, or tile.

If they could find their own way home,

They would, and quickly.

They wait for a helping hand,

One that may or may not come in time to save them.

The sound of engine, breaking tires, opening door,

Hands on shoulders as they are prodded,

Led to the truck bed those willing wonderers,

Secured for journey of length unknown.

Smiling faces as the wayward children return,

Return to familiar confines.

Such is the life of a shopping cart,

Might that be you too?

RA Compton – July 28, 2009