The Empty Nest

Well, my new job is keeping me VERY busy and that has cut into my writing time in a serious way. Gone are the leisurely afternoons spent sitting at a table in Wildflower Bread Company putting pen to paper, observing life and visiting with new found friends.

Now, when I can get there for an occasional lunch some of the “regulars” ask me where I have been. It’s nice to be missed from my “third place”.

But life goes on and the title of this post is “The Empty Nest”. Yes, we delivered our youngest son, Seth, to The Academy of Arts University in San Francisco three weeks ago and now we are officially empty nesters. Those of you who still have children at home, the day does come just give it time.

I knew this time was coming when Seth graduated from high school and began his college career. Once he enrolled in Junior College I began to feel the slow but sure movement of him, from being our son who lit up our lives, to becoming that independent young man on the road to adulthood. With each year of college he spent more time away from the nest doing his thing and less and less time at home for dinner and just hanging out.

From a very early age Seth seemed to have one foot in the adult world as he related so well with the adult community. His wisdom, gained at such a young age, would manifest itself to us in many small ways. His heart for people and spirit of service in helping others brought him insights into the human condition long before other in his age group. His early maturity has made it easier for him to begin moving towards  the adult world.

When Seth discovered his love for and gift with film it didn’t take long for him to become an, “in demand” camera operator on the student film circuit this summer.

Here is the link to his 2010 Reel. This reel shows small clips from the seven films he worked on this summer. He is the young man at the beginning slapping that film thingy they use to mark each shot.

http://vimeo.com/14682977

OK, so enough bragging. Back to the journey to San Francisco…

As Seth and I made our way to San Francisco we stopped off at my sister Kay’s house in Oceanside for rest and food. We drove down to the marina, parked the “big girl” as my sister call her SUV, and made our way to Joe’s Crab Shak. After dinner we strolled down to the beach and as we walked along, memories of the young man next to me came flooding back. Summer vacations spent at Aunt Kay’s with all the animals and trips to the beach were memories that easily filled our minds as we talked of those days. I could see that blond boy with a boggy board headed out to play in the waves. Oh sweet childhood.

Next day we headed to SF and with Seth driving the second half of the day he was like a horse headed for the barn. The man couldn’t get to the City fast enough. We arrived at his dorm in the late afternoon on Thursday and unloaded his stuff to get him settled in  his room. Room 509  is a room on the top floor with a great view. Lucky kid!

That night Sally flew in and on Friday morning we attended the parents event and once that was done went to pick up Seth to shop for things he needed that we didn’t want to cart over from Arizona. Seth’s ”sister” Grace tagged along and it was a fun day of shopping, eating, making right turns and deciding that getting Seth the Blackberry with all the bells and whistles was worth it after he began to give Dad turn by turn directions in the city of one way streets.

After stops at Costco, Target and a couple of meals at the diner near out hotel, we spent the evening in Seth’s room watching him unpack his new fridge and get it hid  from the room inspectors. That was fun. Sally wanted to stay and not leave when time came to go and let the boy get some rest. She was really beginning to feel separation anxiety.

Saturday morning we had breakfast together and then went to his room for one last visit to check out his handy work. It was his space. Desk arranged, posters up, cloths on the floor, stereo all set up, laptop up and running, it was him. A bit of home in a room on Nob Hill.

Finally the time came to say our goodbyes. Standing on the street in front of his dorm I held him and smelled him and kissed him and that all to familiar lump in my throat came up, but I wanted to be strong. Sally was unable to hold it in, she cried. Then I turned to get in the car and the tears came. Not the flood, that would come later. But I looked at Sally and as we drove away I looked in the rear view mirror and watched our boy walk into the next turn in his journey of life.

Several days later I’m sitting at my desk and he came to my mind. I missed him. I got up and went into his room, grabbed his comforter and smelled. I cried and cried. My boy is on his way to manhood and this world is so lucky he is on his way.

Seth is a good person; gifted, driven, but loving, sensitive and caring. He will make some young woman a great husband. But for now, all you girls stay away from our boy because he needs to focus, or is that, he needs to “pull focus”. He is a cinematography major after all. He wants to make films. Be the man behind the camera.

The house is quiet now. His presence is less with each passing week. But every once in a while I go in  his room and stand there and feel him again. Take a deep breath and go on with  my day.

And so the journey continues. Me on mine and he on his.

I hope this post finds you all well and enjoying life to the fullest. If you took a child to college I would love to hear your story.

…the journey continues…

Richard